They say it takes about 3 years to really get acclimated to a new area. As we enter into year 3 here in South Carolina, I can see that to be true. I've been working from home for 11 years now and there are challenges. It's easy to develop social anxiety. After spending over 40 years in front of a microphone, I never had any qualms about talking/singing/hosting in front of lots of people. People that took time out of their lives to come see me and whatever group I was in. I had the gift of gab for sure. But those days seem like an eternity ago.
I wrote a few years ago something quite profound and it bears repeating:
"There's a huge difference from being alone & being lonely. Being alone is on the outside of yourself. Being lonely comes from within, directly from the heart".
There is an artform to being alone. Sometimes we think its just elderly or the "slightly off" folks that live a life alone. But since the pandemic, more and more people actually prefer less people....and I am in that group.
Many occasions during a routine day, I'll find myself talking to myself, but the time I spend now inside my own head, even around a crowd takes getting used to. My day is full of emails, texts, digital communication, but most of my actual talking is to 2 old dogs. Lori gets it too. Her job consists of being around people but spends most of her time alone in the car. So suffice it to say that when she gets home, we have a lot to talk about.
However. I'm missing people. Friends. Family. Especially having my daughter and her new husband stay this past week. It was like my voice was going out cuz I couldn't shut my damn trap. People need some sort of social interaction. Technology has made it easier to live afar with Facetime and unlimited minutes of long distance.
We made their trip here full of social stuff, markets, shopping, Gamecock football games. When they left, it was all too quiet for the 1st day. I was very down. Lori was in tears reminiscent of Wisconsin Dells days after her family would visit, she would cry for days........until we moved back home eventually.
I could see us now though living a full life with being alone together, if that makes sense. We always have something to talk about. We have a 45 year history together. But I know she'd love to have a neighbor friend or girlfriend that loves to chat that she can yack to about girly stuff. And I realize that I truly miss the camaraderie of bandmates and guy friends. Music used to get me through the lonely times but now I don't have that outlet. (If you count learning the guitar-but my great friend Joe T. sent the kids here with a keyboard to tinker on till I get my sea legs back and it was perfect. Thanks, T.)
So feel free to reach out. But if you don't, no worries. We can pick up where we left off like old friends. Just know that I believe I've perfected this being alone stuff.
For now, at least.
Peace, friends, family and whoever reads this. You're not alone in being alone.
Perry
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